Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
