As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All the doctor said was why
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
