Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
