Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize