I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
