Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You are the jesus of drinking
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
