Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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