We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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