why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is my gift to your gina
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
