either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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