After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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