Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
