Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish i was in the wii world.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize