Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
