she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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