Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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