She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
