My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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