I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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