ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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