we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
