The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
