Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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