when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
