Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
