What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
