Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
