And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
