There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
