I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
