The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You did what with his pubic hair?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
