covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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