just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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