You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
