i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
