Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
