Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
