Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
