I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
