omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
