whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize