that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
