we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
