Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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