week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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