Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
