My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
