i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize