when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize