i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
