So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
