Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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