He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
