So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize