I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
