How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
