i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
