We're facebook friends in real life
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
