I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
