It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
