are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
