i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize