I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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