you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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