VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
