1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
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