wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
